The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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