Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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