I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
