with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just took my morning after pill in the library
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The Olympian is in my bed
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
