Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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