So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
