I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm having to shit out rocks
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