Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
