its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
