So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im six kinds of drunk right now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so let's talk penis.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
