Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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