do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
