guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
