Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
