He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
