You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
