I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
