the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
