i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
