And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
