who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
