their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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