Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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