Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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