omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
