i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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