just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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