Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
