I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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