He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
