I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
