look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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