i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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