So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
