is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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