I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
