i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
