dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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