So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
