He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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