We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
