remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My dick has a subreddit
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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