no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
