Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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