Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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