Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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