I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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