you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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