I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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