So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
