what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
